I’m not really a big YouTube watcher, but whenever I do turn it on? I see fifty billion videos on why you should never date a YouTuber. This got me thinking. What about bloggers? Never have I ever dated, but here are 10 potential problems that prove that one should never date a book blogger.
1.) Going out may involve more reading than speaking.
When my extended family comes up here to visit and everyone decides to go out to eat? I’m the one who finds the biggest purse in my room and shoves my four hundred page book in. I will sit at the far end of the table if I can and read because I have already deemed the conversation uninteresting before it begins. At my house I will do the same thing. If I’m going shopping with people and do not feel like shopping, chances are I will bring a book.
I even bring a book to the orthodontist.
And don’t you dare try to interrupt me.
2.) You will be jealous of the book boyfriend/girlfriend.
One thing that I have learned from just about any YA reader is that they have this imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend that is entirely fictional and came from some book they read. If you can’t stand the jealousy that may form from watching your partner obsess over a being that exists entirely in fiction and possibly get compared to him/her, dating a book blogger may not be for you.
Even if the above does not happen (though it is highly unlikely) you will be jealous of the books with shiny covers. They will get pet, fawned upon, and sat around the house in different areas like a trophy. Both of these are probably more concerning women bloggers as I’m not so sure that I’ve seen guys do either of these.
3.) Fangirling (or fanboying).
This is pretty much a derivative of number two. Don’t date a book blogger if you can’t stand fangirling or fanboying. This is bound to happen and involve obsession with a book or series. Possibly a specific character or a single chapter. This phase can last anywhere between a week and several years. They generally move on, but often just to become a fanatic over something else.
Consider this your warning if you don’t want to be forced to read all of the books, see each movie adaption five times, and buy all of the fan merchandise for your anniversary.
4.) Speaking of which — Movie adaptions.
The movie is either going to be the best thing ever or your worst nightmare. The movie will probably always be amazing and filled with actors that are going to be deemed hot because they play the role of your partner’s favorite character. There will be more obsessing. There will be fangirling/fanboying and buying the book with the movie adaption cover.
But the movie is never better than the book. Remember that if you want your life spared.
5.) Money problems.
I know what you’re thinking. Isn’t this a list of reasons why I shouldn’t date a book blogger? I didn’t come here for a dating seminar. Little do you know is that book bloggers can often encounter money problems. Sure, they might receive some books in the mail to review, but that does not mean they won’t go out and buy the book again when it comes out in hardcover, buy everything else the author has ever created, and pick up another five books they thought looked good while they are there.
And trying to ban this? Trust me, many book bloggers claim to have put themselves on a book buying ban, but then Amazon puts something on sale.
6.) Your life is no longer private.
I think it’s time to get into the more technical aspects of blogging. This involves all the social media sites. I’m talking Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Instagram, Tumblr, you name it, there’s a high chance they use it. And one thing about these platforms? People use them to share everything with their followers. It’s very likely that your girlfriend’s new haircut will be seen by 600 people on Twitter and Instagram before you even know she went to the salon.
That being said, if you do something incredibly interesting, make sure that your partner’s phone and computer are away so that they have no ability to use it to get more blog readers.
But, don’t worry, they will probably just Instagram photos of that dinner you made them and tea cups by their new books.
7.) Online friends.
Those 600 followers I was telling you about? Expect each of them to be talked about as if your partner is close to them. This will probably involve names that are not names because Twitter handles like @CrazyCrunchies are more memorable than a name or because I don’t know their name/full name and to distinguish one Stacy from the next I will say “Stacy at Flower Me Forever.” Which is not a real blog, by the way. . . At least, if it is, I don’t know it.
8.) Blogging conferences and meetups.
Because having online friends isn’t enough. Instead, your partner will be willing to spend several hundred dollars to go to a conference or meetup to see all of their blogging friends, meet authors, and obtain free books and bookish swag. This can be awkward, but remember that you aren’t allowed to call them fake friends anymore.
9.) Blogging obsession.
Your partner is bound to hit the phase where he/she is completely obsessed with the blog. There’s a blog remodeling going down (we don’t just do this to our homes anymore), five books still need to be read, three guest posts, the disclaimer page needs to be rewritten, and, on top of that, they’ve been having hosting problems.
At times like these it seems that all they can think about is their blog and everything that isn’t right and everything they have to do to make it right.
10.) Limited time.
Because of these important bloggy responsibilities, there may be an issue of time. No, you can’t go out on Wednesday afternoon because they have to watch Epic Reads. No, Tuesday doesn’t work either because their favorite author is hosting a Twitter party. Thursday? Thursday might work after they post that cover reveal. Blogging has a lot of responsibilities and you are sure to find this out as soon as you ask, “Are you free?”